28 September 2016

Is Marriage Just A Piece Of Paper?


Well, it's a bit bloomin' obvious where I stand with this topic seeing as I tied the knot two months ago. I'm pro marriage and I'm here to explain why I think it is so, so much more than just a sodding bit of paper.

This wasn't always the case. As a teen I rarely entertained the idea of getting hitched. I was sure marriage wasn't for me and that there was no flippin' point. I think this stemmed from the fact that both my sets of Grandparents went their separate ways and when I was 14/15 my parents called time on their marriage.

The divorce came as such a shock to my brother and I. We literally had no idea, not even the teeniest inkling that they were splitting up. In fact, from our POV, they were happily married. And I think that's ultimately what made me doubt marriage altogether as a concept. I mean sure, my folks had the odd row (who doesn't) but I wasn't expecting the split. It seemed too permanent. I believed in their marriage and looked up to it, as kids do. It was what I knew, my first-hand example of a relationship.

I don't and never did hold any anger towards my parents for getting divorced. Obviously I was upset but I knew they'd done what was right for them and the overall health of our family. In fact, I think they were bloody brave - too many parents stay together for the kids sake IMO.

Their split was amicable too which helped, they honestly put my brother and I first. Their maturity and integrity caused minimal disruption to our lives. I'll always respect them for that as I've heard too many tales of divorces getting really petty and spiteful, with the children involved trapped in the middle of some modern day war-zone.

So why did I change my mind about marriage?

To put it quite simply I grew up and my eyes opened. I came to realise that all relationships are different. Some work out and last forever and a day and some don't and that is okay, it's normal. Ultimately it's all down to the individuals; how compatible they are, what obstacles fall in their path and whether they are willing to work together to overcome them.

About 8745 other factors come into play too. Basically there's no magic crystal ball of marriage, nor is there a template for a blissful married life - unfortunately.

But there is one thing all newlyweds-to-be have in common. None of them are getting married thinking that it is all going to come crashing down to a horrible end.

Okay, so there are still people that get hitched because the woman in question is 'with baby' or because they're scared that they are getting old and have THE FEAR of dying alone but the majority of couples choosing to get married are doing so because they believe in the relationship.

At that very moment when they are looking into the depths of one another's eyes, reciting their vows, they are forever. They are making the well intentioned leap of faith because they love each other more than they knew they were capable of.

And that's what counts.

Now onto the real argument. It is an increasingly popular opinion that marriage is old-fashioned and is 'just a piece of paper'. That it's worthless and that cohabiting couples can show the same level of commitment without putting a ring on it.

My response to that is this. A marriage certificate is a bit of paper, sure. But what it symbolises is so much more than that.

A driving test certificate is also a piece of paper yet a lot of time and effort goes into achieving it and once you have earned it, you're met with a sense of pride. That A4 piece of paper proves that you've accomplished something. It's a victory against the relentless journey that is life.

Same with deeds for a house or your university degree. All these are things that generally don't come easily, but are milestones, things to cherish and to be damned proud of.

With this in mind, I see marriage as a whopping great achievement. It's the ultimate goal that two people work towards, together. It's is when the relationship reaches it's peak and is at it's strongest.

It shouldn't come easy or be rushed and should be valued, nurtured and looked after. Much like you lock up your house before you leave for your morning commute and drive off in your car safely. You look after the things you've worked your butt off to have, they are your investments.

My marriage to Ed is an investment into our future and I intend to treat it as such. I am unbelievably proud of our achievement and I will do everything in my power to ensure that it maintains its value. I am committed to our relationship and my husband and I am sure know he feels the same.

I friggin' adore being married. I love that warm, snuggly, security blanket feeling that it gives me.

And just a little side note to those that think marriage is 'no big deal' then why not just do it?  If you are as committed to your partner as you claim to be then why wouldn't you sign a 'piece of paper' to declare that?

Something to ponder.

What are your views on marriage? Do you still think it's relevant these days or are you all for that modern cohabiting lifestyle?


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18 September 2016

12 High Street Buys To Add To Your Autumn Wardrobe

As I write this, I have the smell of garlic & rosemary roast chicken wafting up my nostrils and whilst this is heavenly, it's also rather distracting so apologies if I seem aloof - I've not had a roast dinner for a long time.

Although it's not *technically* Autumn yet, Mother Nature is definitely getting into the swing of things. For the last couple of days it's been cold enough to throw a jacket on and I for one am THRILLED.

It's so blissful to be in full control of your body's temperature. Too hot? Remove a layer of clothing. Too cold? Put another layer on. Simples.

No more unwelcome sweaty butt crack *fist pump* or burning yourself on car seat belts (just me?).

I also adore Autumn fashion. I love layering and I find that the darkier, moodier colours that come out to play are the most complementary to my pale skin tone.

As there are so many gorgeous A/W pieces out there at the mo I thought I'd take the opportunity to round up some pretties that I currently have my eye on.


Autumn wishlist




I already have the denim jacket from Topshop (It's so wonderfully oversized, perfect for layering over jumpers when the temperature plummets) and the reversible Oasis bag - it's the first proper grown-up lady handbag I've ever owned. It's officially been named my cinema bag as it helps me smuggle in my stash of popcorn and sweets as well as fitting in the essentials like my purse and whatnot.

Something I absolutely must have this A/W is the burgundy faux leather skirt. I love how it would look great with opaque tights, ankle boots and a roll neck jumper during the day time but equally as bangin' with a bardot top for a night on the tiles with your best pals. Not that I actually get out much anymore but it's wise to have such a versatile piece lurking in the depths of your wardrobe, y'know, just in case.

I'm also seriously contemplating purchasing the paisley, tile print blouse. I've never bought into the paisley trend as I find it a little daunting for my play-it-safe style but I think I could get away with this monochrome version. Just imagine it paired with  a berry lip and pointed, patent ankle boots. Erm, YES. And it's only £16 from George. 

Oh and how about those beautiful, on-trend embroidered jeans for a vintage, almost western twist on the classic black skinny jeans? Hubba hubba.

IN THIS POST

Any of these items got you reaching for your bank card? Let me know.


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13 September 2016

Things I Hate About Autumn


I'm writing this post because I believe that queen Autumn needs to be brought down a peg or two because she's not perfect, far from it. She isn't all about warm slouchy jumpers, chain-drinking hot chocolate and beautifully scented candles. She has her flaws, like the rest of us and it's about time someone pointed these out before she gets far too big for her sassy little ankle boots. 

Disclaimer: I actually bloody love Autumn and wrote a whole post about it last year but shhh.

1. It gets too dark, too early. I'm all for dark cosy evenings in front of the telly with Ed but I do not enjoy still being sat behind my desk at work when the sun goes down, especially when I've been there before the Sun even got up. Is this life?

2. The temperamental weather conditions. Especially in early Autumn when Summer is refusing to back down completely and continues to chuck out the odd scorcher. No matter how much preparation and care is taken into choosing an outfit, you can expect to be caught unawares.

3. Daddy long legs. I'm 100% convinced that these little long-limbed freaks of nature serve no other purpose than to freak me the hell out. Why do they always home in on the face? 

Nope.

4. It makes me put on weight. Nope, it has nothing to do with me shoveling the extra morsels down my gullet but has everything to do with the drop in temperature. As it gets colder I NEED more food and it just so happens that the food in question must be warm, homely comfort food (read:calorific stodge). Did someone say crumble? 

5. Christmas is thrust upon us. I adore Christmas and genuinely believe it is the best time of year. However, I don't want everything festive thrown into my face come September 1st. I mean they're already selling mince pies in Morrisons and it was 30c outside today for crying out loud. I wish retailers, advertisers etc would just chill the eff out and let the year take it's natural course. Besides, we have Halloween to look forward to first.

6. The leaves. I have a love hate relationship with the ultimate symbol of Autumn. I like how the leaves look as they carpet our pavements and parks in hues of red, yellow and brown. I like walking through said leaves, feeling them crunch under my footsteps.

What I don't like is the sludge that is left behind when they have been there for a week or so after several torrential downpours. It doesn't look nice and let's face it; it's an accident waiting to happen. 

Oh and also I now have a massive tree in my garden, so guess who is going to be raking up leaves in the back garden for weeks on end? That'll be me. 

7. School traffic. Long gone are the 6 weeks of practically flying through my morning commute.

8. The oncoming of my seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The declining hours of sunlight lead to my general well-being taking a turn South.

9. Germs, germs everywhere. In Autumn, every corner you turn you will find a poor old soul suffering from the sniffles. It's just a matter of time before you too are hoarding kleenex and being frowned upon when you sneeze out in the open air, lol.  

Are you mourning the end of Summer? Or are you all about these Autumn months?

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